Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Boys, or Should I Say, My Little Men.


I've been having such a blast with my boys! They're getting bigger. They're developing their own thoughts on things. They've also developed some hilarious senses of humor! Yesterday I grabbed Jonah's forearm because he was getting ready to run into someone. Without even blinking he said "All passengers, please keep your hands & feet to yourselves."
They're becoming the men that God created them to be. A couple of nights ago Jonah was walking down the hall saying "Who deleted my Beth Moore off of my ipod?" I said that I had because I thought that it was on there by mistake & I was just trying to make more space for him on his ipod. "No" he told me, "I love Beth Moore. I listen to her every night before I go to sleep. Can you please load all of her stuff back onto my ipod." What in the world!!? I had NO idea that he was listening to all of my Beth Moore stuff!! It thrilled me that he'd been doing that on his own!

Each boy has a story that I could share. They're delightful, really, really delightful. This Summer we've just thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, and it's been such a joy. They are acting like friends to one another, rather then acting like each other's enemies as they have in the past. It blesses me to see them love each other. They ALL love Ezekiel. They are so sweet with him. They tend to his every need (except diapers). ;) He is one blessed boy. Last night they were all in bed when I heard Ezekiel start to cry. It took me a second to get in there to see what was wrong. When I got there all three boys were standing by his crib. All three of them touching him, trying to soothe him. So precious!

This is the first time that I can remember since Jackson was born that it's not stressful to go to the store alone with all of my boys with me. In fact, it's actually better to take them with me because they're so helpful. Their dad has taught them to be gentlemen, so they don't like me (being a girl & all) to have to lift a finger. My door is always opened for me. They lift all of the heavy things into the cart for me. They load all the groceries into the car for me. They bring them into the house for me. They put Ezekiel into his car seat & get him back out again when we get home. Boy, this is the life!!

Parenting is the hardest thing that I've ever done, and especially because I'm trying so hard to "do it right". This Summer though, I've started to see a lot of fruit from all of our hard work. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I've arrived! There's a long way to go, but I'm just saying I've seen some fruit, and it is thrilling! I love these sweet boys. They bless me! Thank you, Jesus, for my sons!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

What Doesn't Kill Me, Makes Me Stronger, Right?

I keep waiting for things to slow down. What a whirlwind life has been!
Drama before we moved.
We moved.
I hope I NEVER have to move again! Twice in one year is PLENTY!!
Drama after we moved. One stressful event and circumstance after another.
A new job for me.
A new job for Marshall.
A new school for the boys.
Health problems.
We're being cut off from our health insurance is 6 days, that's 62 days earlier than we were told we'd be cut off.
Financial problems.
Family problems.
Painful events in the lives of those that we love dearly. Therefore, we are pained.
Unusual attacks from the enemy of my soul.
I can't find important papers that I need............

Yikes! Life is so stinkin' hard sometimes! Life's taking a lot of faith right now. I know that these times where much faith is required only increases the measure of faith that I carry with me from this place. How do people who don't know the Lord Jesus get through? I'll never know! Jesus, thank you for giving me enough grace for today, and thank you for reminding me that I don't need to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow you'll give me a fresh measure of your grace to carry me through the new day! I love you so much! You're my only hope. You're all I need. You're perfect. You never leave me. You never let me down. You're the source of all good things. You work ALL things together for my good because I love you. You give me peace in the midst of pure chaos. How can I ever thank you enough? I bless your Holy Name! Be glorified!

Friday, June 6, 2008

All about the pics













"Today I finally overcame trying to fit the world inside a picture frame. Baby, I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way, but let me say you should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes. It brought me back to life. You'll be with me next time I go outside, no more 3 by 5's. Just no more 3 by 5's."

Anybody know who's lyrics these are??? I'm crazy for photographs. What can I say? I love to take pictures. I love to look at pictures, and not just mine, anyone's.......if they're good. Marshall & I went into Borders on Third Street in Santa Monica and sat and looked at books for hours. I looked at one book of photographs after another. SOOOO therapeutic! My favorite one was by Anne Levowitz. There were pictures in there that should not have been, so let me give that qualifying comment first. BUT, I loved what she did. She made a book of her families' ordinary happenings. One of my favorite pictures was a black & white of her mother after she'd just woken up, sitting on the edge of her bed with her husband (Anne's father) laying in bed next to her with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Neither of them were smiling. The looked grouchy. I loved it. It was just real life as it was happening.

The reason that I like the song that I quoted up above is because I have this curse of seeing the world through a camera lens. I'm CONSTANTLY wishing that I had my camera! When someone makes a face that I'd like to capture and keep forever, or when there's a beautiful flower, or leaf, or car, or building, or a special needs child that's so precious I just want to take his picture. There was one in a wheelchair in Target the other day, he smiled at me & my boys and in his strained voice said "Hi". I wanted to squeeze him, and love on him, and then I wanted to take his picture.

A picture really is worth a 1000 words. So forgive my steady steam of photographs. I can't seem to post without pictures being involved. I was the kid that would rather look at the pictures than read the words. Now I'm the adult that would rather look at the pictures than read the words.

The family pictures Jen Tilley took. Thank you, Jen! The ones that I'm not in, I took.